far too many of these fucking things

bad news everyone the budget's just not there any more we're going to have to cut some olympics sports for the next one. dont worry because ill rationalise this and it will be like nothing ever happened.

archery

it's cool. medieval type sport. sexy

approved

artistic gymnastics

this one's just fucking around on various objects and i like that

approved

artistic swimming

i don't really care

approved

athletics

some of these are boring. the short running ones are just how fast can you go. some of them are just how much can you throw a thing so we can probably consolidate some

denied except 1500m, marathon, steeplechase, pole vault, triple jump, javelin throw, decathlon/hepthlon, 20km walk, 4x400m relay

badminton

the cooler tennis

approved

basketball

cool strategic team game

approved

basketball 3x3

on thin ice because we already have a basketball but okay

approved

beach volleyball

??? playing volleyball on the beach doesn't count as a different sport. what, are we going to do beach football next? beach fencing? beach fencing sounds sick actually. you can have beach volleyball back if we get beach sport equality. until then you can't be trusted

denied

boxing

the fighting ones are always exciting. this one is my least favourite but it's not running

approved

breaking

i don't think this is a sport

approved

canoe slalom

kind of boring but ill allow it on the condition that im cutting the next one

approved

canoe sprint

im cutting this one

denied

cycling bmx freestyle

i love when people go up and down ramps for any reason

approved

cycling bmx racing

it does have ramps

approved

cycling mountain bike

im giving cycling a bunch of these because they aren't going to like where im going in two sports time. but this one has mountains

approved

cycling road

like from pokemon

approved

cycling track

ooo look how good i am at rotating my legs. try a real sport like cycling road

denied

diving

one of the highest density sports for body rotation

approved

equestrian

replace this one with pocket card jockey esports. i don't like this one because they don't give the horses a medal when they did all the work

denied

fencing

this is just swords. which is fucking cool so obviously it's allowed.

approved

football

i actually like this one i think it's an interesting and strategic game

approved

golf

lol no way

denied

handball

they can throw the ball really hard

approved

hockey

save this one for the winter

denied

judo

okay i watched this one and they kept doing stuff and nobody got a point so i didn't really get it. perfect game

approved

marathon swimming

they should rename this category to 10km swimming because it's not a marathon

approved

modern pentathlon

this is the coolest sport of all time and then horses. im proposing New Pentathlon: replace horses with skateboarding

denied until the horses get a medal or we replace them with skateboards

rhythmic gymnastics

oh this is the ribbon one. yeah this isn't a sport either.

approved

rowing

i don't really care about single rowing events but the teamwork and rhythm required of team rowing is cool

approved except single rowing

rugby sevens

this is a women's game

approved except men's rugby

sailing

unfortunately this one gets kind of cool sometimes

approved

shooting

how can you not like shooting it;s stylish

approved

skateboarding

fuck yeah skateboarding

approved

sport climbing

as a climbing fan of course this one is allowed. i do wish they'd split it three ways instead of just two but im glad speed got separated. anyway that's unrelated to the point

approved

surfing

yeah why not. surfing is pretty cool i don't know how you score this but that's their problem

approved

swimming

boring. ooo which of these people is going to reach the end of this straight line first. if you want to keep doing swimming swap to New Pentathlon

denied except relay because there's more going on there

table tennis

the other better tennis

approved

taekwondo

i don't know much about this one but i believe that another fighting one will be cool

approved

tennis

there are multiple better tennises so this one is on thin ice but i suppose table tennis is named after tennis so maybe we should give it some respect

approved

trampoline

strange event i mean it's just bouncing but sure it can stay

approved

triathlon

another good replacement for swimming fans. get on this one

approved

volleyball

good team game i like when they bounce the ball to each other

approved

water polo

again they can throw the ball really hard in the water. i think this is cool and i like that it's just a team game that you play in the water. very weird

approved

weightlifiting

yeah this one's fucking gone it's literally just lifting objects

denied

wrestling

yeah i think the more homoerotic sports we get in the olympics the better. not really sure why women aren't allowed to do greco-roman wrestling whatever that is.

approved